


Totally legit killing game guys

by xXPokefictionXx_isnt_that_bad_of_a_name



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: April Fools' Day, Stealth Crossover, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23440819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXPokefictionXx_isnt_that_bad_of_a_name/pseuds/xXPokefictionXx_isnt_that_bad_of_a_name
Summary: "Are you okay?"Everyone always asks that."...Are you okay?"The answer is never the truth."Are you deaf, or still unconscious! Come on!"I don't think I've ever answered this question truthfully."Aww, whatever, I don't have time to screw with you, there's a body and everything to explore instead!"Usually, I just stayed silent, but every so often, I'd speak lies."I'm not fine and all, you have to carry me. I wanna see the body!"~-~-~-~This is an April Fools Day joke that's probably too late but whatever. It's still April 1st somewhere right? Right? Well, this is barely a joke, more like a bad real fic with a stupid end, but I had the idea and wanted to write it, so I did. I made this in like, 7 hours, yet I can't scrounge together only double this in a month.This fic has like, 8 or so characters but only two of them are actually original, but the rest of them are random arbitrary picks and not Danganronpa characters so I didn't tag them, and none of them are really important anyway.I guess this was just a writing test, more than anything...
Comments: 2





	Totally legit killing game guys

**"Are you okay?"**

Everyone always asks that.

**"...Are you okay?"**

The answer is never the truth.

**"Are you deaf, or still unconscious! Come on!"**

I don't think I've ever answered this question truthfully.

**"Aww, whatever, I don't have time to screw with you, there's a body and everything to explore instead!"**

Usually, I just stayed silent, but every so often, I'd speak lies.

"I'm not fine and all, you have to carry me. I wanna see the body!" I suppose my interest in a corpse was genuine, but I could walk perfectly fine. I might have had some problems at the moment, but they were all about not knowing my whereabouts, or the person talking to me, and considering I knew nothing about my situation... I was going to go with this boy's commands.

"Finally, you're up! Took ya long enough!" A boy's voice, on the younger side, it sounded like. He'd already moved away from the unconscious girl he was prodded like an arm on the sidewalk, but I was fine enough with not being poked and screamed at. Maybe another time, from someone older than... 10, or so.

I expected some glare above me as I woke up, but there was nothing but black overhead. Forward, though, there was something. Maybe that was just how things always turned out, you needed to move forward for anything to get done, but whatever it was, forward was an illuminated hallway blocked by a small figure, towering over even me when I was lying on the ground.

"Alright, if you're up, let's get going to that corpse, otherwise you'll get a thousand accusations thrown your way for being an hour late!" The boy'd already run off by the time I was standing, the shadow he cast over me now completely gone, as I stepped out into the hallway...

...It was bright, sure, a ceiling lamp every few meters on the ceiling, when half as many provided good enough lighting. They lit up the white and blue patterns on the walls, probably more than they ever needed to... I preferred the darkness of the closet over it, much less most other interior designs.

"Come on, slowpoke, you've gotta have good enough legs to hurry it up!" The hallway split off in two, one turn to my right and a straight shot to my left, before another eventual turn where the boy was standing, pointing out the hallway's curve. "Over here!"

As he disappeared behind the wall, I made my way to the corner. The only thing the way he'd gone was a pair of doors, a very different appearance from the rest of the hallway. Both wooden, one red and another yellow... A complete shift from the rest of the building as I'd seen it. My last house wasn't the peak of style, hell, it barely qualified as a house, but anyone with proper eyesight could see what was wrong here with these doors.

Even still, I opened them up. Freezing in place seemed like the reasonable... Almost logical thing to do at every development, asking thirty questions to no one and scratching my head trying to come up with an answer that stopped my heart from bursting.

But I didn't do that, I didn't stop to find an answer. My blood was still pumping, and I was still moving. I walked to the doors, prepared to see whatever "body" this kid was so excited about... And...

"...He's dead, no ifs and or buts about it, skulls completely smashed. Coulda gotten the same results with a wrench, but whatever it was, they made up power with size. Surprised this decent sized guy of all people went first... buuut he missed the explanation, so it's sorta understandable. Welp, time to find Ibuki and prove she-!"

"...Sylvain?"

The figure kneeling above what must've been the body stood up, turning around to face me dead on. There was no mistaking him... Sylvain.

"Holy shit, even here I get to fuck with you. Sorry!"

I couldn't help but groan, with him here... His attitude was as dirty as his hair, the glasses on his head were treated like chewtoys, probably to make fun of me for not being able to buy a pair, and his brown shirt was quite fitting for a shitstain like him. I wasn't one to swear, but he was different. I rarely screwed with him back, and I never knew why he was such an ass, but at the very least... He was someone familiar. Any lie about needing no answer could become the truth in comfort.

"I assume you know each other? Cool, can't wait to see how to mess with you two idiots." The kid who'd led me to the action was off to the side, a cheeky expression on his small wittle face. "But whatever, we have a body to investigate, lady!"

"Hey, you know him right?" A voice I didn't recognize tore me away from the dumb little kid and the dumber asshole schoolmate, making me take in the other figures... And the room. The whole room was an eyesore, bright blues and light purples, but almost no illumination like the previous hallways. I didn't need any lights to see who was talking to me, though, a girl almost as thin as I was, bright pink hair and an oufit showing enough leg to reflect the sun. "Any idea how to get him to shut up? I've been stuck listening to him all day."

"Yes, yes, earlier you made fun of me for fingering the body, least I have the decency to wear pants." As always, Sylvain was be "Not to mention I'm actually trying to check things out. You've been standing around here since we discovered a dead guy!"

"Oh shut up-!"

"Can you all be quiet?" A large man, black shirt matching his beard and hair, put an end to the bickering. "Except the lady over there, you all heard the rules, not to mention the announcement."

"What announcement?" Questions upon questions... Questions I pretended I didn't have. I pushed them down, filling my head with anger at Sylvain, or interest in these new faces, or my complaints about the decoration... Anything other than questions. "Was there something that happened before I woke up?"

"There's no way you could've slept through that." Another person, one I hadn't even noticed previously, began talking... He blended in with the rest of the room well, minus the scars all over his face. Even still, he was as tall as the kid, and the purple and blue all over his body just made his appearance all the stranger. "And other than the victim, you're the only person we hadn't met yet since most of us regained consciousness. Things aren't looking good for your innocence... Especially if you woke up alone, rather than in pairs like the rest of us."

"Actually, that would be Marnie who woke up alone." I turned back to the kid, finally taking some notice of their appearance, an orange hood covering most of his body, perfectly complimenting the devilish smile he was wearing. " _I_ never said I woke up in the same room as Marnie, she just woke up and saw me! I left my room and skinny over here as soon as I realized I was kidnapped!"

"Man, for a little kid you're such a jerk-!" The pink-head's sentence was cut off by a giant noise, as Sylvain stood up again. I hadn't even noticed he'd reached back down to the corpse... One I'd been completely ignoring. I didn't see any blood, nor the face of the man lying down, but according to Sylvain, he'd been hit over the head. I didn't pay any mind to the loss of life in front of me, and with continued talking, I still didn't. "-The hell was that noise?"

"Just a little something that our John Doe had on his person, apparently!" Sylvain was shaking around what looked like a PDA. "Huh... A bunch of totally not suspiciously labelled buttons on a small device. Ladies and gentlemen, we might've lucked out."

"Lucked out? What do you mean?" I expected some quip to be my response, but I couldn't leave that unquestioned. I was apparently the most uninformed of the group... And possibly the most suspicious. Based on earlier comments, there was at least one person not here, possibly more.

"He means he thinks this guy was responsible." The large man explained, glaring at Sylvain foe confirmation. "He's probably gonna go on a wild goose chase while talking about how he opened up the exit, and that whoever killed this guy had the right target in mind."

"Something like that, yeah..." Sylvain gave a smile in return, his smirk showing damn well he knew he was pissing the guy off. "It's unlikely as all hell, but why not check it out? We haven't seen Ibuki for 20 minutes, and everyone else basically has alibis, so even if this isn't the end, we know who did it. Mae, make yourself useful and investigate that weird noise."

"I'm not wandering around alone, even if I could blast you or anyone else to smithereens." The pink-head, apparently called Mae, snapped back again. I imagine she's had as fun a time as I every time I see shitstain. "Besides, if it's an exit, what's stopping me from just waltzing on out alone?"

"Let's just all go." I tried to put the issue to rest, hoping they'd all just stop talking. That was too much to ask, I couldn't ask a single question here if I wanted to keep my sanity. "There's no sense in not checking it out, even if it is nothing."

"I'll go get the others..." The scarred shortie stepped over the body and walked next to me before turning around. "You investigate that noise, if you think it really was anything of interest."

"I'll stay by the corpse. Sylvain's not gonna stop from checking that noise out, and the rest of you don't know a damn thing about observing a body. Leaving it completely unchecked is idiotic." Even just giving clear directions, the large man sounded exasperated and annoyed... He'd been talking to Sylvain, after all, and he was right, this definitely wasn't an exit, whatever we would find.

"Alright, let's go check out whatever that was, come on!" The kid ran out of the room, Mae, Sylvain, and myself following shortly after. I was glad to be rid of that eyesore of a room, only for the hall's bright lights to assault me again.

The kid led us down the hallway, almost as if he'd knew where the sound came from... and I realized I hadn't gotten his name, nor had I told anyone mine. While some level of trust would help with the inevitable co-operation that'd come with playing this "game", this wasn't the time for that at all.

"You've been pretty quiet, as usual, but I'd think you'd be a bit more talkative in asking questions. Rat bastard over here clear didn't explain everything to you before you got to the cadaver." Sylvain's voice boiled my blood as if I were dying in the desert, just from his tone alone, not to speak of the words he formed or the topics he discussed. Before I could think of a reply, the kid stopped... And so did I.

There were three things in this room anyone would take notice of entering it. One, the two people standing in it already. Two, the sudden refreshing breeze, one I'd never been happy to feel, despite the calm it instilled in me now. Three, something bright. Much brighter than the lights through the halls of this building, or the pink hair on Mae's head.

"Holy shit... Is this it?"

"Piers, Bro... Are... Are we out of here?"

"Of course..." The two people standing before us turned around, with the kid no doubt prepared to taunt them. "...It could be a trap. Oh well, I call first to leave! Outta the way, Marnie!"

The kid pushed past both of them, running head-first outside, as Mae switched from stunned silent to yelling at the kid. I looked over to Marnie and Piers, as these must've been... A girl slightly taller than the kid, an odd haircut but sensible fashion sense... With her brother who screamed "punk" and "I have seven hair extensions". Even with the lights of the halls, my eyes hadn't adjusted to the direct sunlight, so I couldn't make out any more about either of them... And I was more focused on Sylvain.

"If you're gonna say it's a trap then jump into it, may as well say the sky's falling and stand out in the rain!" As nonsense as that analogy was, and as much as that was something he'd probably do himself... Sylvain was right, going to run after the kid. I considered pursuing them, but stopped myself... I don't know why. Maybe I was afraid, or maybe I thought it was a trap... Likely both.

"...You go on ahead, all of you. Piers, make sure those two don't do anything stupid." Mae pointed outside, but even without that, it was obvious who she was talking about. "I'm gonna get everyone else... We'd better hurry the hell up." Mae didn't even wait for an answer before rushing back swiftly... I didn't know enough about her to predict what she'd do, but I didn't expect that.

"Yeah, yeah, got it." I noticed Piers wasn't even considering the outside, waving Mae along as she ran off, quickly looking back to something in his hands... A folder of some kind. He shot a quick glance to me and kept talking, "You, girl, can you watch them?"

While her brother was focused on that file, Marnie was back to being locked onto the sun's rays, and the outside world. I took a few steps forward myself, finally seeing what waited ahead...

A forest spanning as far as I could see, a dirt path going downwards from the door's entrance, and a variety of man-made objects from crates to jeeps surrounding the path.

I took a few more steps... The floor of the building turning into the dirt of the outside, a familiar feel under my worn-out soles, one I'd never thought I'd like, but like the sun... It calmed my mind.

And then, I heard screams.

**"WAIT, MARNIE-!"**

**"B-BRO!"**

Sylvain, the kid and I all turned around, a slamming sound louder than anything I've ever heard drawing us back to Marnie and Piers... One of them completely missing, a giant silver wall right where Piers was moments before.

The door had just closed behind us.

Marnie ran up against the massive metal wall, separating her from her brother, and began banging, as if her fists could make any dent in it. If she kept it up, she'd break her bones and bleed her hand dry, but she didn't care any. I almost tried to stop her. Almost. But any thought of doing that was interrupted by another unfamiliar voice.

"...Huh, didn't expect that outcome, I was almost hoping we wouldn't double dip on familiar survivors... but you earned the right, so congrats!"

Everyone, even Marnie, wheeled around again, staring down... "Isn't that the corpse?" As the kid put it, the man lying dead in the eyesore of a room. "Hey, is that dog I saw get hit by a truck gonna rise next?"

"No, nothing like that, but I've gotta congratulate you!" The man had brown hair, a jacket, a face with nothing special about it... He seemed like a regular person... One who should be inside, and dead. "That was a fast escape time, I expected at least another hour before I thinned the ranks for the main attraction. Thank Mioda for leaving my controller for you to find!"

"The hell do ya' mean, thinned the ranks!? Open that door and let my brother out-!"

**"Sorry, I can't do that. You four are pretty lucky, y'know. Hope you consider giving the show a watch, this Killing Game isn't something you want to miss!"**

And with that... He disappeared. I blinked, and he was gone. With that blink, with that disappearance... With these mysteries and the words he just spoke, he left the four of us stuck between a path god knows how far from home... And a cold metal door, one that we'd never see open.

"...Huh." Sylvain cut the silence, walking away from what we'd just escaped and down to one of the Jeeps. "I have enough to sort out on the way home while making fun of my good buddy here... But still, I'm driving."

"H-HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?" Marnie roared, and I had to agree with her... For a different reason.

To kidnap us all... Just to let some of us go.

This was too easy. They... They were screwing with us. This wasn't the end.

I couldn't keep out the questions anymore, and they overtook me, but I was still sure this was not the end. This was too easy.

Too easy.

...Wasn't it?

**Chapter 0: Prologue**

**The End**

********

******The Killing Game has... ended. I guess. What the hell was he talking about, that was an awful show.******

**Author's Note:**

> The Plot is confusing as fuck... Part of the April Fools charm, I suppose. Basically, there was a Killing Game with extra participants, so the Mastermind staged his own death, in which Ibuki Mioda, gone mental at the thought of a second killing game, "killed" him. He had the escape hatch switch on him, and the first few people to leave would just be allowed to win the killing game, with a proper game resuming with the remaining participants, Piers, Mae, Ibuki, and such, plus a bunch of other people who never showed up because there was no point. Of course, the game is essentially over since the main protagonist escaped early.
> 
> If you... Care, any, here are all of the "participants", whether relevant to the story at all or not, organized by who they woke up in the same room with. Most of these characters or setups weren't relevant at all, but I planned them out, so may as well let you see them, I considered a whole buncha weird random shit in case I needed any of it, most of which I didn't.
> 
> Mae (Fire Emblem: Shadows of Valentia), Sylvain (An OC from a Dream, I don't know why he's here)  
> Ethan Thomas (Condemned, the large guy guarding the body), Piers (Pokémon Sword & Shield)  
> Neko Zombie (Gregory Horror Show, the scarred shortie), Asriel Dreemurr (UnderTale)  
> Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck), Jock (Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark)  
> Ibuki Mioda (...Danganronpa 2), Daniel Vinyard (Exit Fate)  
> Jill (Drill Dozer), Ethan (Last Scenario)  
> Wakiya Murasaki (Beyblade: Burst), Airan Jo (Sin and Punishment)  
> Chuck Greene (Dead Rising 2), Rick the Hamster (Kirby's Dream Land 2)  
> Ivor (Minecraft: Story Mode), Lammy (UmJammer Lammy)  
> Marnie (Pokémon Sword & Shield), Justin Lawrence (The Bible Game, the faked victim and the Mastermind.)  
> Ryu Cork (Danganronpa: Dead End, the kid), Token Girl (The unnamed POV of this absolute ass story)


End file.
